watch me try and string sentences and thoughts together

Still here. Still pregnant. Still growing boobs and belly at speeds as high as 10mph.

I had another appointment with Dr. Bytheway. I PREPARED for this appointment with some intimate and awkward moments involving a shower and a new razor blade.It's just that  I see this man's wife every Friday and I cannot risk the possibility that there be some behind-the-scenes discussion about my lack of personal upkeep. All was for naught. I disrobed nothing. And that Group Strep B Test that you get at 36 weeks, well, he handed the testing apparatus to me while saying I could administer the test or he could if I wanted him to. Obviously he didn't want to. And the chances of me handing over the tube and asking him to do what I assume is a doctor's job was also not going to happen without tears or some unpredictable but surely embarrassing outburst. So there I sat with the longest ever q-tip trapped inside a test-tube just like those ships in a bottle souvenirs. As I stared at the equipment he explained how I would test myself. There was mention of the vagina and the rectum involving the same q-tip. In what I suspect he thought was a reassuring tone he told me that I needn't stick the entire q-tip inside either entrance. Good gracious.

So then that happened.

Other fascinating bits of nothing are happening as well. Behold.

1. Eli grunts in exasperation which was precious until I realized he was mimicking me. Now I'm mad at him for exposing my stellar parenting skills. I prefer to believe that other people believe that I am a radiant and endless beam of patience and adoration. Little punk called my bluff.

2. He's also developing a fine palate that favors the likes of cucumber lotion directly from the bottle and frozen peas. And yet he hates a Popsicle. HATES.

3. On Tuesday I will be 37 weeks pregnant which is full-term which is also the time at which Joe and I are meant to do our homework. According the the nurse, our homework assignment from Tuesday until delivery is sex all day every day. Some hormone in the semen has ripening properties that frighten me. Or I'm just frightened at the prospect of all the jostling involved in our homework assignment. I prefer to be still with my mammoth-ness.

The emotional side of life is topsy-turvy of late. I have a sense of not being able to turn back more than I am filled with excitement. The familiar shower of questions and doubts have returned and I find it impossible to even just make a list for Joe about what to do with Eli should labor kick in within the next minute. I am ashamed to admit this.

And oddly, I'm even more preoccupied with all the friends I have lost touch with and how I can get back in touch and when will I ever have the time to really do that and I need to just pick the ones I love the most and pay them good attention but still I miss those other friends and don't want to cast them aside but haven't I already done that? On my list of things to do this weekend is to make a list of all my lost friends so I can write them a short e-mail saying that I miss them and can we be friends again starting now and forever.

My mind, it is a muddled puddle.

Comments

[LadyBug Crossing]

Don't panic. I'm sure your friends realize you are busy. Everyone knows there is no free time for the mothers of toddlers.

As for the Q-tip... umm... eewww. :-)

Best wishes to you and yours during L&D. Can't wait for pix.

LBC

[Raehan]

Good friends can always pick up where you left off....even if you have to wait until the massive sex homework assignment is finished to send the notes.

It's a really nice thought, though.

You have a lot to be excited about. Since I generally disliked being pregnant, having the baby was much better than the waiting period, no matter how little sleep I got.

Why did your doctor choose to be an OB, it's not clear. Why don't you ask him next time?

O Henry, don't keep Mere waiting too long.

[Suzette]

Old friends of all types, I presume?

I meant to tell you that I went to look over the Wheelman and to see the story of Benjamin & Etai for myself. It was autumn - I parked on top of oak leaves and acorns pelted my car.

[Unga Chunga]

What a special treat it was to hear your voice this weekend and catch up!

Go figure - the word in my day was NO SEX in the last trimester for fear of premature birth! Sounds like a total reversal - something like childrearing theories!

Too bad your doctor is such a loser!

[Marie]

Raehan's right... good friends will be there... and they do understand.

This doctor? I have an urge to stick him with a long q-tip!!

Will anyone from your families be joining you for the new baby's arrival or to help at home? You'll be snuggling your new little love soon... I'm sure not soon enough for you. I remember the discomfort of those last few weeks and am amazed you used a razor at all.

[Elizabeth]

You are doing great. I can't imagine it isn't 100% normal to feel overwhelmed by all you've got on your mind right now.

Everything is going to work out. There's time enough for everything.

[Lucinda]

Don't forget that a lot of your worries are hormone-induced right now. About a year after I had my baby and had finally finished breastfeeding, I looked back and couldn't believe how emotional and easily upset I was during that time. And the scary thing is that I thought I was feeling absolutely normal! I thought the world had changed- not me!

[carrie]

Be kind to yourself, sweet girl. Everything will be alright. Everything.

[Old Horsetail Snake]

37 weeks? I thought it was 40? Of course, I have never been pregnant.

[MommaK]

Oh, you are so damn sweet. I wish I could be there to help you and to yell at your doctor for you. Come home, would you? I miss you like crazy.

Moving today...you're room will be ready & waiting.

xoxo

[raehan]

Aren't you due like right now?