Apparently I have taught him that you need exactly six things to get yourself out and about.
1. A bag you love that doesn't hold diapers but is big enough to hold your stuff which at this point is not much more than a set of keys and on a good day a tube of lipstick. A lipstick that is the same brand and color as your aunt suggested you wear when you were three months pregnant with your firstborn sixteen months ago.
2. A maternity tank top pulled straight out of the clean but desperately unfolded pile of laundry. While your stomach may deflate post-partum, your chest will not and the extra material in any maternity top is sure to stretch over the landscape that is your set of nursing knockers.
3. At least one strand of Mardi Gras beads because, after all, life is a party each and every day.
4. The big, bad diaper bag full of everything for any emergency except a dirty diaper.
5. Sunglasses that are soon to be lost or broken at the hands of a toddler.
6. Someone to put your shoes on while you pull their hair and/or lick their forehead.