I may be involved in a new friendship. It's like dating all over again for me. All the lists of why I like her so much and all the worries about whether it is reciprocated and all the self-talks where I tell myself to just be myself. It's junior high again except with kids and a much longer list of chores. But really I LIKE like her. I even stammer on the phone or cut her off just to avoid a possible awkward moment of silence. I sometimes even chastise myself for saying that stupid thing I just said.
While I haven't always been the best friend I could be I love my lady friends through and through. Before motherhood it wasn't too difficult for me to find the company of women who inspired, humored, challenged and filled me up. But suddenly I am rusty at the friendship game. I don't know how to reach out with quite the right balance of interest sans desperation. With the possibility of this friendship I am in such a state of glee. We can play, eat, shop, talk here and there together! Our kids, they can grow, fight, love and hang together.
So when she asked me to babysit her daughter on Saturday night, I was ecstatic. YES! She trusts me to babysit! And we can swap hours and there will be love and joy everywhere! And it WAS fun. I was happy to report back to her that her daughter had eaten a cracker, wet through one diaper, drank water, played nicer than Eli and finally fallen asleep.
I did NOT tell her about the part where I changed Eli's diaper and her daughter stood next to the couch and pointed, stared and ultimately giggled at the sight of Eli's penis. Now if we decide to make our friendship official then I'll have to tell her about the incident before all the paperwork is submitted. See, if she hasn't already taught her daughter the word penis then I may have done so and I wouldn't want an elephant like that living in the room of our friendship.
