We've got seven weeks to come up with a name for Inutero Boy. That is if we hope to call him by name anytime around his birth. While it seems pressing I suppose other issues are more so. Maltsby's leash tugging and general state of disobedience is no longer charming. My disdain for making a weekly menu and grocery list could result in malnutrition. Eli's affection for hitting is increasing disproportionately to our ability to figure out how to handle it. Now those issues press. Our boy will need a name but first he'll need milk and a clean diaper. So again, not pressing but still I obsess.
There is one name on which we agree but neither of us love it. And that would be a sad thing to say to him someday.
Henry, my little soy bean, we named you that because it was the only name Mommy and Daddy didn't both hate.
Nice.
We do each have a number one name. Joe's is Ajax like the Trojan War hero not the stronger than dirt cleanser. I am not joking. Mine is Abe for no particular rhyme or reason other than it's short and I like it. There is no chance for Ajax but there are days where Abe seems possible. I have promised Joe an endless stream of uninterrupted video gaming and sexual favors in exchange for my top name pick but that would also be an awkward conversation in the future.
It's not untrue what your father says, Abe. I did do that, that AND that so I could name you what I wanted. I also saved you from the torment of being named Ajax. Points, please, punk.
So we're at a standstill because I probably won't do that, that and that. Some days Joe warms up to Abe if it's short for Abel. I have two issues with Abel.
1. Abel, Abel, strong and able get your elbows off the table.
2. Didn't Abel get killed by his brother?
And then yesterday while Joe was at work surfing the Internet, he came across a new name. After a fairly sleepless 24 hours, we both still to like it. While it reminds me of a movie from the 80's starring a young Corey Haim, I forgive it.
I'll keep you posted. Wait for me on the edge of your seat.
